Resources

Blog Post: The Perceived Privilege of Pain

– January 2025

Societal norms serve as unspoken agreements that shape our interactions. They help maintain order, ensure psychological safety, and create a sense of belonging. While these norms can sometimes reinforce systemic harm, they often play a critical role in preserving peace.

But what happens when we experience harm? Often, those who have been hurt believe their pain grants them the privilege of disregarding these norms—justifying actions that may escalate conflict, spread harm, or fracture relationships.

Pain, particularly when rooted in injustice, can strip us of power. And yet, even in the face of harm, we retain the power to choose our response. How we respond determines whether we perpetuate cycles of harm or create opportunities for healing and connection.

By addressing harm in ways that acknowledge injustice while fostering restoration, we can strengthen relationships and improve community well-being. This is where deliberate community agreements and restorative practices become essential.

At SAMatthews LLC, we help groups establish community norms and healing practices that:

Anticipate the harm inherent in human interactions.
Acknowledge and address injustice with integrity.
Build frameworks for restorative and transformative justice.

Our work is about turning moments of harm into opportunities for healing and progress. Let’s reimagine how we respond to pain and work toward equity and understanding in every interaction.

Here’s the List of Five, resources and key ideas to explore healing amidst conflict further:

The Little Book of Restorative Justice by Howard Zehr
Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown
The Center for Justice and Reconciliation – Tools for Practicing Restorative Justice
TransformHarm.org – Resources for Restorative and Transformative Justice
Restorative Practices Toolkit by the National Center for Restorative Justice

If your group or organization is seeking a partner to do this critical work, contact SAMatthews LLC on LinkedIn or via email at Stacey@SAMatthewsllc.com. Together, we can create communities where harm is not the end of the story—but the beginning of healing.

Blog Post: Agree to Disagree…Commit to Engage

– December 2024

In equity work, the ability to agree to disagree is not just a skill—it’s a necessity. True progress demands that we engage with diverse experiences and perspectives, even when they challenge our own. It’s in these differences that we uncover the deepest opportunities for growth and change.

By fostering communication, compassion, and a commitment to stay in the work together, we strengthen our communities and create space for transformative solutions. Equity work isn’t about uniformity—it’s about honoring our unique voices and finding common ground to move forward. Let’s lean into the discomfort, stay curious, and build bridges where it matters most.

At SAMatthews LLC, we specialize in guiding clients and their partners through challenging conversations with empathy and strategy. We help you navigate discord, embrace diverse perspectives, and maintain forward momentum toward your shared goals. Let us support you in turning differences into opportunities for growth and collaboration.

Here’s the List of Five, resources and key ideas to explore agreeing to disagreeing further:

“The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias” by Dolly Chugh
“Emergent Strategy” by Adrienne Maree Brown
“White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” by Robin DiAngelo
National Equity Project Resources
“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, & Switzler

Reach out to us on LinkedIn or via email at Stacey@SAMatthewsLLC.com

#EquityInAction

#CommunityMatters

#AgreeToDisagree